Monster Cookie Dough Dip~KIDS PARTY DIP~

Ingredients
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
½ cup butter, slightly softened
1 cup creamy peanut butter
2 cups powdered sugar
3 Tablespoons brown sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 ½ cups rolled oats, old fashioned or quick (see Note)
2/3 cup plain M&Ms (give or take)
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Instructions

With a hand mixer or stand mixer, beat the cream cheese, butter, and peanut butter until smooth.
Add in the powdered sugar, brown sugar, flour, and vanilla.
Using the paddle attachment on your stand mixer or just a wooden spoon, mix in the oats. You may want to use more or less here. I really like the oats in it and a thicker dip so I added a lot. Remember that the dip will also firm up a bit in the fridge.
Add the M&Ms and chocolate chips.
Store in the refrigerator until serving. Serve with pretzels, graham crackers, or apple slices. You can dip or spread this depending on how thick you made your dip.

Deep Fried Onion Balls with Cajun Ranch Sauce

Ingredients

8 oz sour cream
1 sm packet hidden valley ranch
5 Tbsp cajun seasoning, divided
4 1/2 Tbsp cayenne pepper,divided
2 c self rising flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 egg
1 c milk, add more if needed
2 bags onion boilers, peeled
1 btl canola oil

Directions

1 Preheat deep fryer to 400 degrees.
2 In a medium bowl add the sour cream, ranch packet, one tablespoon of the cajun seasoning, and 1/2 teaspoon of the red pepper, mix well. Chill while onion boilers cook.
3 In a medium bow add the flour, egg, milk, mix well.
4 Add 4 tablespoons of cajun seasoning to the batter.
5 Add 4 tablespoons of the red pepper to the batter.
6 Add the salt and black pepper to the batter, mix well.
7 Take each onion boiler and coat with the batter. Deep fry for 1-2 minutes.
8 Drain on paper towel!
9 Enjoy with Cajun sauce!

~~EASY ECLAIRS~~

PASTRY:
½ cup butter
1 cup water
1 cup all-purpose flour
¼ teaspoon salt
4 large eggs

CUSTARD FILLING:
1 (4 serving size) package instant vanilla pudding mix
2 cups milk (or as called for on pudding package)
1 cup heavy cream
¼ cup icing sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
¼ teaspoon salt

CHOCOLATE ICING:
⅓ cup semisweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup powdred or confection 
sugar
1 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 tablespoons hot water

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. LIghtly grease a large cookie sheet and set aside.

In medium saucepan, combine ½ cup butter and water. Bring to a boil, stirring to melt butter. Reduce heat to low and stir in flour and salt with a wooden spoon until the mixture begins to form a stiff ball of dough. 

Remove from heat and add eggs, one at a time, stirring vigorously after each addition to ensure they are incorporated. Work quickly, especially with the first one, to prevent it from cooking into scrambled eggs on the bottom of your warm pan. With a spoon or pastry bag fitted with a large tip, spread/pipe the thick dough onto prepared cookie sheet into 10 strips approximately 1½ x 4″ each.

Bake for 15 minutes, then reduce heat to 325 and bake another 20 minutes, until puffed and golden and hollow sounding when lightly tapped on the bottom. When removed from oven, IMMEDIATELY pierce the ends almost through to the other side to let steam escape and prevent any sogginess in the middle. This hole is also where you will be piping your filling into. Let cool completely before filling and icing (this will only take about half an hour).

For CUSTARD FILLING: combine pudding and milk in a bowl and mix according to package directions. In a separate bowl, beat the heavy cream with an electric mixer until soft peaks form. Beat in ¼ cup icing sugar, 1 tsp vanilla, and ¼ tsp salt. Fold whipped cream into pudding.

Scoop mixture into pastry bag fitted with a smallish tip (I enlarged my steam holes a bit to make my tip fit, so do whatever works) and pipe mixture into centers of eclairs until full. This is a bit of a messy business, but worth it for ease of eating and pretty appearance. You could certainly also just slice the eclairs in half horizontally, fill the bottoms with cream, and replace the tops. Either way, you will probably have some custard leftover.

For ICING: Melt the chocolate and 2 Tbsp butter over low heat in a saucepan (or in the microwave, stirring after 30 seconds and giving additional 10 second increments as needed until fully melted). Stir in 1 cup confectioners sugar and 1 tsp vanilla. Stir in hot water, 1 Tbsp at a time, until icing is smooth and reaches desired consistency. Drizzle, pipe or spread over filled eclairs. Store in the fridge.

A joke

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"