Monday, August 18, 2014

Today....

Normally my days start out fairly normal.  I picked Clara* up and we go to work.  I get to work, have my oatmeal and coffee, maybe orange juice if I've remembered to buy some at the shop and start my mornings work.

Routine. My comfort.


I love the predictability of my routines, the ebb and flow of a life I try to construct perfectly. Like an orchestra of emotions, actions and consequences.

Life isn't perfect though. Is it?


Life is a roller coaster of twists and turns and belly rolls and yes, sometimes, even crashes.


My roller coaster crashed this weekend.


This weekend filled with so much emotional upheaval and heart breaking emotions that even if I wanted I couldn't name.


I came out on the other side.  A little bruised, a lot broken, and trying to get my routines back in line.


But this morning.


I'm not hungry.


I don't fix my oatmeal, or my coffee, and I didn't pick up orange juice at the shop.


I sit here at my desk and stare at my computer, knowing I should be doing something but lacking the energy to even try.

There are files to process, books to balance and financials to print.


And I can't seem to find the will to start them.