Thursday, December 12, 2013

The "Like" Factor....

Okay, I know this sounds weird and I may lose you at some point here, but bear with me...you very well may be in a relationship with someone you don't like....


There.


I said it...


And the fact is that it is entirely true...and it happens every day...

I know, I've been in several the most recent on lasting two years....yeah I told him I loved him...and yeah, for the most part I meant it...I did love him...I just didn't like him....at all...not even a little bit....


All of his habits, the way he did things, the way he moved and talked to me....made me want to shoot him on a daily basis....


You do not feel this way with someone you like....


Don't get me wrong, I am not saying this is a bad thing...on the contrary this blog is suppose to be going in a completely different direction......


In the direction of it is really okay to like someone......there is nothing wrong with it! When have we put so much emphasis on jumping straight to "I Love You" by doing so we've diminished the meaning of these words to the point we are basically saying "I Like You" when we tell our hopeful partner "I Love You".

Why do we do this? Consistently....relationship after relationship.....

A lot of times we jump head first into a relationship because it feels good...and we all want to feel good...let's face it and if we can get that feel good feeling from the affection of another person instead of intrinsically....we go for it....like me and Golden Corral's rolls and honey butter...it's going to happen and it's going to happen more than once...

The problem with this approach is we don't take the time to actually spend time with that person and to get to know them......

out of bed......

I am being serious....

Once you spend 6+ hours a day for more than five days with a person and you get a pretty good idea on if you're going to be able to stand them on a long term basis rather quickly.....this buffer period also gives you a chance to make sure that you are equally compatible with him....

This is a good way to determine if you are going to end up having homicidal dreams about that person on a nightly basis and end up having to spend hundreds of dollars for counseling just to keep yourself from following through with it and ending up with a script for Xanax and mood stabilizers.


So when did it become such an ordeal to actually like someone.....to just look at the person and say "I like you" and with those three little words you mean so much more...you mean that you acknowledge them as a person...that you recognize their faults....flaws...and silly little idiosyncrasies...that you value their strengths as well as weaknesses and that you value your time with me as the gift it is (never let someone make you feel like your time with them isn't a gift...it's a gift...your time is valuable and anyone you spend an extraordinary amount of time with that doesn't appreciate it....then you need to spend less time with them....)


I have recently been spending time with someone (see I told you this would make since eventually) and I Like Him....I can say it....I know what it means....I have spent I don't know how many hours with him just talking and visiting and telling stories.....I enjoy my time with him and appreciate the time he does spend with me because like me he is busy and I am humbled that he spends what free time he has with me....


I can say I like him and not bat an eye....does this mean I like everything about him? No....he has some habits that are annoying (who doesn't) but are so trivial in comparison to all the things I do like about him that they don't bother me as much as they would normally....and that is how it is when you like someone....the good out weigh the bad...and while you know there are some bad traits you just don't give a damn....cause you would still rather spend time with them when they are being annoying than not at all...

He has not (in a serious all jokes aside I really mean this) said it in return....and this is bothering me.....and I know that doesn't make a lick of sense...why should I care if he hasn't said it or not....just the fact that he is spending his free time with me and point a , b, c and the cat in the cradle and you can't compare apples and oranges blah blah blah....

It matters because after a certain point you have to know where you stand with a person....you have to know that you mean more than just a distraction....you have to know they LIKE you....for being you....for your quirky personality.....for the fact that turned up shirt sleeves drive you crazy.....for the fact that you are you and yeah, there is probably a something he'd change about you, but for the best parts he wouldn't change a bit....