How One Woman Changed my Life...and we've never even met.

I've been trying to keep up on my blogging and I promise that I will share more amazing things that I find in a little while but I just wanted to stop and take a moment and just visit.

Just to sit down and talk a while.

I know some people find it confusing. I was engaged, now I'm not, now I'm dating; who is this, what is that, what is going on, I don't know, it's so confusing, what to do......


Normally before I wouldn't have dreamed to be doing what I am doing now. Dating, trying to find someone who loves me for me, and who doesn't just want me because of what I can give him. Looking for someone who compliments me, not just flatters, and someone who wants the same things that I do and has the same values.....

How did  I come about this change you may ask?


Well, I want to introduce you the person who has been most beneficial to my self esteem. Brittany Gibbons (http://brittanyherself.com).

This woman has changed the way people like myself, view themselves and it is all for the better. She has reinforced that we are beautiful, each and every one of us and we shouldn't make any changes to ourselves for anyone other than ourselves.

I have sent a couple of messages to Brittany but Lord only knows how many she gets in a day and I never expect a response, they are more therapy for me than for anything else. I wanted to share a few of them with you. The first was sent while I was still engaged, the second I just sent a few minutes ago but both show the profoundness of what she has shown me and how much it is desperately needed in the plus size community.


Message One: April 29th, 2:11pm

2:11pm

I know you probably get 15 million FB messages a day but I just had to share what happened this weekend with you. My fiancee and I have been together for what seems like forever! When I first found your blog I was telling him all about it and about how you are trying to make women feel better about themselves and to love themselves for who they are, which was amazing to me because I grew being told "I would be pretty if...... - I lost weight - I wore dresses - I wore make up etc, well this weekend I was stalki....reading your blog and came across your TED episode. So as I was watching it I started to notice that my fiancee wasn't killing monsters as frequently on his game, and as your clothes came off he leaned over close and close and when you were finally there in your bathing suit he finally goes "what the hell are you watching?!" to which I simply replied " you remember me telling you about that blog I found that was completely inspiring and I loved reading and finally made me feel good about myself. It's her and she is the most amazing thing to happen in my life....since you of course dear" But don't worry....I think you are more amazing than him! Don't stop what you are doing....we need it down here!

Message Two:

13 minutes ago

1:38pm

Brittany- this one is for you.....I started reading your blog and stalking...I mean following you about 4 months ago, and in those four months you have changed my world. I bought and have received my first two pairs of shorts in about 10 years. Probably longer. I pulled them out of the bag and stared at them....sighed and put them on trying not the think about the number on the tag and how the tag should be bigger to make the number look smaller...and I smiled...I ran downstairs to show my sister who lives to rag on me...I stood in the door way to the laundry room where she was swapping loads and said " what do you think" she looked at me for a second, cocked her head to the side and said "you need some sun" I sighed and shifted feet "well, I know that....what do you think about the shorts?!" and as I waited for her response she looked at me again and said " IDK I can't tell where the shorts end and your legs begin, they're the same color!!" I threw the dish towel at her....but I know they must look good cause she is the first one who would tell me if they really didn't.... So, tonight as I put on my shorts for a date with the British guy I met the other day, I will think of you and know that just because I am not skinny, does not mean I am not beautiful...and I will thank my lucky stars I found you (in a totally non creepy way)

So the next time that you see someone who does not fit your point of view on what people should be think...who are you to judge and who are you to say what is right and what is wrong....cause the way I see it.

God made man in his image, and I've never met God so I don't know what he looks like...

So maybe you know something I don't know....and maybe (more likely scenario) you need to get your head out of your ass.

Suddenly Me....

So, I've been absent. I'm sorry. Life happened, school happened, I got pinned. It happens. I have trolling Austin and Corpus and Facebook and Pinterest and all things entertaining. So, yeah. Sue me. You won't get much but it would be entertaining. You can find me on Pinterest if you are into things like that here:

http://pinterest.com/julietsfolly/

I'd give you my Facebook but I don't love you that much. Yet.....got any chocolate?

So, I've been reading this blog, and it has really opened my eyes to somethings about myself that I want to change. I want to be more comfortable being myself. And I am going to make that happen. Starting with another hair cut. I am literally doing the Shaggy Dog look right now constantly pushing my hair out of my fair. I am also going to color it, like I have always wanted to. With highlights. The whole nine. Yeah.

I am also going to chunk a good half of my closet and start buying clothes that I like, and that flatter me, and that I want to wear.

That's happening this weekend.

I am also going to devote more time to blogging, make the time either in the morning or before I go to bed.  I can't always promise, but I am going to try my best.

In the end, that is all that anyone can ask for.

And to end...some hilarity..this is so my mom in 30 years...or me in 70...i'm not sure:

Little Old Lady In Court...

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? 
Old Lady: I am 94 years old. 
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own wo...rds, what happened the night of April 1st? 
Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. 
Defense Attorney: Did you know him? 
Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly. 
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? 
Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh. 
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? 
Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him. 
Defense Attorney: Why not? 
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago. 
Defense Attorney: What happened next? 
Old Lady: He began to rub all over of my body. 
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? 
Old Lady: No, I did not stop him. 
Defense Attorney: Why not? 
Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! 
Defense Attorney: What happened next? 
Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! ' 
Defense Attorney: Did he take you? 
Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" 
And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

Speaking of Brittany, I am going to take a page out of her blog and say the following:

I don't give a fuck what you think about my body. Keep it to yourself, or don't, if that is what you need. If in your mind you need me to feel about MYSELF the way you feel about YOURSELF, because that makes it hurt less, so be it. But for the sake of my daughter I am over this woman to woman genocide. While men sometimes chime in with the always biting superficial generalities like "You're fat" or "You're ugly", it's girls and women who are better crafted for emotional terrorism. Slicing away at the achilles until our victims are left feeling completely devoid of value and unfit for love, friendship or in extreme cases, are air. And then something catastrophic occurs and we all sit around shaking our heads wondering, how did this happen? How did we get here? This is how. Knock it the fuck off.

(To read the full article please click here: http://brittanyherself.com/)

I have spent my whole entire life feeling  that I was not good enough, not pretty enough, and almost not WORTHY enough to be happy. Yeah, I've struggled with my weight my whole entire life, and let's face it, no one in my family is skinny, we are big boned, meat eating, going all the way people. But as a family we were always HAPPY with each other, and then the media changed the way we viewed eachother, and ourselves. Suddenly it was, You'd be pretty if......if you just cut out THIS you would lose some of that weight....there was no more, you are perfect just the way you are....it was " you are lacking something" . Differences do not make you bad, yeah, I know my weight is a health concern, yes, I try to do something about it, and  yes I need help to get where I can be healthy. And I am going to get it. Just as soon as I possibly can. Which is probably going to be this summer.

I am already FABULOUS! More's the pity if you didn't already know it.